I'll Never Take You Out Dancing

It's pointless the worry about things out of your control. These "things" to b controlled can be anything from things that have nothing to do with you or things that are in the future that you have no means of understanding without abstractions. 

The importance of living in the moment.

This is it.. the here and now. 

I think the problem with actually acting on this advice stems from the cliches of "living in the moment". There's some kind of negative connotation that has attached itself to the concept and it's imperative that we dismiss any preconceptions and just "be". 

Don't take things personally. 

Live in the moment. 

It's not you, it's them. 

These are all things that have been said before but when actually scrutinized they are the essence to maintaining a happy demeanor. Anything can make you smile or cry or make you feel angry from one moment to the next. Embrace it. Embrace the hectic-ness and the messiness and the fear and the pain. Happiness comes along with it. And isn't happiness only possible because of the sadness, or madness or apathy? It's not as trite as "you feel sad so you can distinguish between happiness and sadness". I think that we would be able to differentiate regardless. I think it's just the essence of every emotion, every fleeting thought or feeling that adds to the notion of what makes us happy. 

I need to learn how to let it go. 

In Dreams

I think there's something rather ironic about my inability to differentiate between dreams and reality. It facilitates this dreamlike quality to manifest itself throughout my life through different people, experiences, places and times.

Sometimes I'm awake and couldn't feel more like I am living in a dreamless night. In dreams I sometimes feel more emotion than I allow for reality. Maybe this is why I am plagued at times by nightmares, dreams of suffocation and loss, etc etc etc.

I suppose this is relevant because I have had a few dream-like experiences in real life over the last few months that eventually lead to my questioning what exactly was even real about the people, places and events. It instills this sense of an ever present nostalgia for something that I can't quite put my finger on. I guess nostalgia is rather vague in and of itself, anyway.

It's almost like I am so bored with real life that I dream to escape that boredom that I cannot control. I also try to create and facilitate any and every situation that might be (in any way) an exciting prospect. I enjoy the teeth pulling awkwardness of the night, day, week, month after and create fantasies about said events until what was real is a memory almost as vague and blurry as a dream. It all seems rather circular and contradictory in nature. 

But things are good. They have to be.