Slick

Today was a good day. 

I read an interesting article in the newspaper about how the Tibetan freedom flags are actually manufactured in China. Ironic. Apparently the owners of the factories have no idea what the significance of the emblem on the flag was... 

I also read an article about a 78 year old man in Australia who has just been caught keeping his daughter hostage in his basement since 1980-something, and fathering her 7 children, 4 of which he and his wife (her mother) adopted. 

UNPALATABLE. 

On a totally unrelated and seemingly unimportant side note: slicked back hair is the worst possible hair style ever. Little to no panache. 

Quixotica

I have to compete with Aria now for content, style and accuracy. 

It's o.k. We're a team. 

read her blog (she's much funnier than I am). 

I changed my ticket to go home. I will be back in Los Angeles on the 16th of May at approximately 9:45 AM. I miss the smell of that city. I'll be back in no time. I won't allow this trip to displace me emotionally..I will be present, forgiving, accepting and comfortable. I need to get out of here. 

Don't take anything personally. 

"I won't"

It's been almost a year since I moved to New York. I can say that my life has changed dramatically... not necessarily for better or worse. My actions and inactions are not symptomatic of my character which is sometimes hard to remember. 

must remember:  Our problems are not our thoughts, but our attachment to the thoughts we have. Our words are not our own. 

Coachella was this weekend. I suppose that I have some animosity due to the fact that I had a free 3 day ticket sitting in the dust for me there. The lineup will never top the past years but I guess Prince would have been pretty boss. Actually, boss would mean that I would have been able to get close enough to even hear him over the hordes of frat boys, hipsters, adults with children under the age of 4, kids on acid, kids on ecstasy, hippies and weirdoes who are "so stoked to see Prince!". Not to mention the dust storms and 120 degree heat. Last year, Alex Lee almost melted. We did, however, go to Steve Mcqueen's old house where some friends were staying and saw his Mickey Mouse shaped pool. Also, we got ready for a bourgie DKNY party in the bathroom of a Palm Springs strip mall equivalent of JC Penny. The geriatric ladies made a point of insisting I wear sunscreen. 

Actually, I love Coachella. 

The end's not near, it's here.

Because of  the nonexistence of an a priori good, there is no moral criteria or standard to life which human kind must live up to. This, as well as the fact that we are fully responsible for everything that we are and everything that we're not, is what causes anguish, anxiety, confusion, despair.... 

You are what you're not and you're not what you are. 

People with self fulfilling prophecies are dangerous. Self destructive.  Self- destruction.

Will self-destruct. 

I accept everything that happened and how it happened and why it happened and if it happened and that didn't happen and don't happen and I love it when that happens...

Thats the trouble. 

You're in trouble. 

Weekend Wars

I feel nauseated.

At least that.

At least I was right about being number one.

I set the pace. I made my bed with me in it.

I made my bed...

Ego Mania.

Far, far away

Why is it that as soon as you can manage to convince yourself to forget about something it pops up again, it seems, almost instantaneously? I don't know if that falls inside the parameters of the notion of the rules of attraction.... law of attraction? Once you presume that everything is finished, it is reclaimed as if nothing was actually lost. I begin to wonder if the internalization of my issues and my psychosis and obsessive nature is the basis of the inconsistency. I assume that others are unreliable when in actuality, it is my fickle attitude that's responsible. 

I miss California. I can't decide if I love or hate that place. There appears to be no reason for any animosity. I blame California for more than she deserves. We'll soon be reunited and I can pay my apologies. 

The reconciliation will do me good. 

They call it stormy Monday, but Tuesday is just as bad

It's sad to say goodbye. There are so many scenarios that vary in intensity and significance in regards to saying the inevitable goodbye. It could be assessed as the ultimate form of rejection. 

Manipulation. 

I can only be who I am, and not take things personally, but sometimes I wonder what it is that creates tensions between certain people and not others. Some people refuse to be on the same team. When apologies will not suffice, what are we to do? Some things are irreparable and I suppose the acceptance of that fact and saying your own "goodbye" is the only option. Or, maybe not look to what the "end" means for the future, or how it effects the past, but in the sense of what it means for me right now...... 

Oh, dear. Dear as you always said. 

kisses. 

McJob

I was hired today. Nearly a year in New York city and finally... a job has surfaced. For the next month and a half I'll be helping a 57 year old man from Greece (who's job is to sell reverse mortgage loans) with his diction and grammar and helping him refine his selling skills. I had no idea I was qualified for such a position but women are in high demand in an office of all men, I suppose. Good money. 

Breakthroughs were made today. Emotional constipation will end soon, I hope. 

I heard a story of utter romance which put a smile on my face for the entire day. Honesty is, in fact, the best policy. So, congratulations to you, my friend, for your honest endeavor and the fitting outcome. It seems so easy when you hear it from honest lips. 

Actually, I have an honesty story of my own. 

Also, a story of patience. My hard work has finally done something.

I can't take the smile off of my honest lips. 

A Reader

It's just like Mick said, You can't always get what you want... 

hello; here we go.