I am stuck in this place between being welcoming of responsibility and obligation and then terrifying myself once I have it. I either have too much or not enough to worry about.
I think I need a vacation.
Financial constraints have to be the some of most suffocating barriers to overcome. I feel as though I am entitled to have certain things when in actuality I have done nothing to deserve them. It's a paradox in and of itself because I actually have nothing to complain about.
remember: everywhere you go, it's the same blue sky.
The concept I discovered which taunts me every single day.
I am sick of school.
I am sick of being told what to do and how to do it and why and when and for how long.
I'm in a place where I have once again become dependent on something which is dictating my happiness. I have become weak and pathetic.
What is it that is fulfilling? Do I have any interests, or interesting things to say, or interesting people to say things to?
I cringe thinking about next semester and taking 5 classes 2 days a week in hopes of actually doing well, as opposed to the reality of my inevitable meltdown.
And if you go wrong or change, I'll be done for.
I got 2 kittens a couple of days ago. Just watching them gives me so much happiness.
They rely on me. Are they already an obligation?
(As I wrote that my kitten Books came over and sat on my shoulder, as if to assure me it's not the case)
You need to get out of my head.
Everyone needs to be honest again.
